Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving - Please Be Mindful of the Less Fortunate

The boyfriend (we plan to marry in the Spring) and I will have dinner today with his dad, one of his brothers, my youngest daughter, her husband, and my granddaughter and step-granddaughter at a restaurant located at the former officers' club at Fort Monroe, now a National Monument.  It's a cold but beautiful day and the view across Chesapeake Bay to the Atlantic Ocean should be spectacular.  We decided to foregoing dinner at home after last years extravaganza with over 25 guests.  We have much to be thankful for and plan to enjoy the day.

Sadly, many in the LGBT community are not as lucky and I recall depression filled Thanksgiving in the first years after coming out.  My message to those in the dark place I was once in, please stay positive and know that time is on your side and that things will get better.  That said, there are some who are truly in need: homeless LGBT youth who have been discarded by the selfish, self-centered families which cannot deal with the "embarrassment" of having a gay child or family members.  Many of these toxic parents and families cloak themselves in feigned piety and "godliness" as justification for their despicable actions.  A guest post at Joe My God reminds of the needs of these homeless LGBT youth.  Here's the post:
We deal with a twofold tragedy every day at the Ali Forney Center. The first part is that hundreds of thousands of parents drive their children from their homes because they cannot accept having an LGBT child. The second part is that fewer than one tenth of homeless kids in this country can access a youth shelter bed. Hundreds of thousands of terrified, devastated kids are out on the streets tonight with nowhere safe to lay their heads.

Recently I met a girl in Minneapolis who told me about being out on the streets at 16 in the frozen Minnesota winter. She found a bus driver who would allow her to ride the city bus all night. But one night when he was off duty and she didn't have the bus fare, she shivered in the snow, fearing she would die in the cold. Another boy told me of being thrown out of his home in a suburb of Atlanta by a homophobic aunt. Having nowhere to go, he spent three days and nights in the woods near his house, with no food or water, crying and terrified and wanting to die. Finally he staggered out onto a sidewalk and collapsed of dehydration and was hospitalized.

Many kids turn to prostitution, having no other way to support themselves. Deon became homeless in Houston when he was 15. He also rode the buses all night, and would shower in the morning at a friend's house before heading to school. One night he was propositioned while waiting for the bus, and was offered money for sex. Deeply exhausted from his long nights on the bus, he reluctantly accepted. He told me that he felt so ashamed and humiliated by the experience, that he spent over an hour in the shower at his friends house that morning. He was weeping uncontrollably and didn't want anyone to see him like that. Deon lives with us now. Yesterday he told me that at his job at H&M clothing store, he has a portion of his income taken out of each paycheck. He uses this money to sponsor an orphan in Zimbabwe. He was beaming with pride when he told me this. I am more proud of him than I know how to say.

At the Ali Forney Center we respond to LGBT kids in the most horrifying situations imaginable. We respond with food and shelter, with job training and medical care. We work with kids from all over the country. Last year we cared for over 1,000 kids. As important as it is to house and feed these kids, it is just as important to affirm their basic human worth as LGBT people. It is important to show that they belong to our community, that they are valued and loved.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the kids who live with us, that they can have the opportunity to be healed of their terrible wounds. And I am thankful for the community of support that allows us to do this beautiful work. I am especially thankful to Joe and the JoeMyGod community for standing by us year after year. I am especially thankful for the amazing support we received last year when Hurricane Sandy destroyed our drop-in center.

I ask you to consider supporting our kids at this time. We have 200 kids on the waiting list for our shelters tonight, and have to rely on the support of the community in this time of sequestration and government cutbacks. Donations can be sent to us by mail at: Ali Forney Center, 224 West 35th Street, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10001. Donations can be made online here.
Facilities at Ali Forney Center

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