Thursday, October 13, 2011

Coming Out - Ten Yars Later - Further Thoughts

My post on this blog and on the Bilerico Project generated some powerful responses, most in the form of direct e-mails from those struggling as I once did to survive the coming out journey and to escape what often seemed like a black tunnel with no exit and no ray of sunlight in the distance. I have tried to offer words of encouragement and I hope that those who wrote to me will keep up the good fight.

I wish that I could promise happiness and full self-acceptance overnight, but sadly, it doesn't seem to work that way. Building a new life takes hard work - especially if one has been married and sees their entire former world crumbling with nothing immediately at hand to replace it. I hope that those I heard from will not succumb to depression and that they will continue to strive to move forward. Having reached the point I am at in terms of self-acceptance and feeling good about being gay, I would never go back into the closet. I just could not do it. For those still struggling, I hope you will find good therapists and work to build support networks and social networks. For those in cities that have gay and gay friendly chambers of commerce affiliated with the NGLCC, check them out. Many have individual memberships and they can be a great way to meet the types of people needed to rebuild your life. I also recommend getting involved with volunteer work. Will it take you outside of your comfort zone? Most likely, but you need to see it as a stepping stone toward your ultimate goal.

Hang in there all of you - it does get better.

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