Thursday, May 26, 2011

Coming Out - The New York Times' Interactive Page

I'm a bit behind the curve on mentioning this new feature at the New York Times: an interactive page where LGBT youth can tell their stories. Many of the stories so far sound all too familiar to LGBT readers. My hope is that some - assuming they will take the time to read these stories - may have their minds opened and realize that we are just as human as anyone else and stop to think about the damage homophobia and toxic forms of Christianity inflict daily on so many. For those who haven't done so, I urge you to read some of the submissions. Sadly, those who hate us and most need to read the stories of these young lives are among the least likely to read the stories. I suspect that don't want to know the misery they cause - usually in the name of God. One story struck a chord with me in that it describes much of my youth (except I never tried to talk to anyone because I was too afraid to do so):
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I grew up in Columbus, Ohio and thought I was the only gay boy in the world. I tried to talk with a lady at church but she would never let me finish a sentence, probably knowing what I wanted to say. I felt alienated and alone and this lasted for many years until I got to Los Angeles when I was in my late 20s.
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I look at the many avenues for young people these days and wish we had some of those avenues back then, but I feel good about myself now. After a number of years of active alcoholism, partly because I felt so bad about myself that I had to get "high" to relax, I found a way out of that life of self condemnation into self acceptance. I came out to my parents when I was in my 30s and we had a good relationship until they passed away.
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My advice for teens and those older than teens, to hang in there and find where you are wanted and loved and go there. To anyone thinking about suicide, I ask you to try to make contact with someone about how you feel. No matter how difficult that might be, compare it to suicide and you will find it something you can do. And God be with you; God really does love us you know. If He didn't why did he make us so cute?
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So, okay. Maybe I didn't get the cute part as much as some. But to my many closeted readers, I cannot stress too much the difference coming to self-acceptance makes in one's life. I wasted so many years hating myself and sometimes making life less good for those around me. As I've said before, if your church condemns you, find another one. Don't buy into the hate and vitriol that define today's Christianity.

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