Sunday, February 13, 2011

Why the Word "Marriage" Matters - Take Two

I've written about this topic - why the word "marriage" matters - before, but it's worth yet another look because while the self-enriching professional Christians like Maggie Gallagher claim to be only trying to "protect marriage," their real agenda is to keep same sex couples an inferior class of citizen. Indeed, their real goal is to do all they can to make our relationships a legal nullity. Once same sex couples achieve the word "marriage" to their relationships, it makes it more difficult for the haters to try to make us invisible - another one of their preferred goals. A posting on the Washington Post by a Maryland resident, Jane Rigby, does a good job of describing why the word "marriage" matters - and not just because of the roughly 1,000 state and federal legal benefits that flow from it. Here are some highlights:
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Marriage matters, because marriage is how society decides whose relationships matter, and whose don’t. No matter what, gay people will fall in love and make homes together, as we always have. Marriage equality is about whether straight people are going to recognize those relationships. It’s how they decide who’s family.
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Take my parents. When I visit my small hometown, my mother, without prompting, fills me in on which of my old classmates has gotten married or given birth. No serious boyfriends, no RDPs. Only what matters. What’s an RDP? It’s a “registered domestic partnership.”
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Since I got married, my parents have “come out” to select friends. Not “my daughter is gay” but “My daughter got married [deep breath] to a very nice woman.” Apparently, marriage is something you shouldn’t hide.
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Last week, a marriage equality bill was introduced in the Maryland Senate. It would provide my family with the legal clarity and recognition that most married couples take for granted. Will it pass? Will it be challenged by voter referendum? When will we get to be equal?
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Last year, after I accepted a job in the Washington area, I flew out to house-hunt with my mom’s help. As we drove down Blair Road, snaking back and forth between the District and Maryland, I watched the GPS switch back and forth. “Look, Ma! I’m married . . . now I’m not . . . Hey, I’m married again!” She turned in the driver’s seat. “Jane Rebecca, don’t joke about a thing like that. You are married. You had a beautiful wedding. I was there.”
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We truly need to insist on the word "marriage" in the context of the civil marriage laws because anything less is separate and unequal. Our lives and relationships have just as much value as the straight couple next door and it is past time that religious based bigotry be rooted out of the civil laws.

1 comment:

RichardR said...

I'm in total agreement, Michael, with your assertion that the real goal of professional conservative Christians, such as Perkins and Gallagher,is to render us invisible - back in the closet with the door, preferably, nailed shut. I've long said that their objection isn't really to marriage, open military service, adoption, employment rights, or hate crimes protection for gay people. It's not really about those issues, it's all about gay.