Why the Word “Marriage” Matters in the LGBT March for Equality

Timothy Kincaid has a very good piece at Box Turtle Bulletin on why same sex couples should not settle for anything less than "marriage" as opposed to "civil unions" or "domestic partnerships" or whatever other nomenclature may be given to what are nothing less than second class recognition of relationships. In addition to Kincaid's reasons, there is another simple fact: many state and federal laws - and some foreign laws too - specifically use the word marriage or married (e.g., IRS 1o40's which have one of the options "married filling jointly. As a result, unless our relationships have the word "marriage" applied to them, there are hundreds of rights and benefits that we will not receive. Anyone who claims otherwise is, excuse my directness, a LIAR. And that includes our faux "fierce advocate" in the White House who cannot bring himself to embrace gay marriage and who by so doing makes the statement that he favors gay inferiority. Here are highlights from Kincaid's post that looks at other ramifications of not having "marriage":
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Many people – and I used to be one of them – believe that domestic partnerships are an adequate response to the needs of same-sex couples and that our battle over the word “marriage” is a distraction, an unnecessary obstacle that alienates potential supporters and does not take the feeling of others into consideration. I have grown beyond that position, and now see that our goal of marriage is an essential one, for a number of reasons.
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First, I understand that at this point in our progress, the selection of domestic partnerships or civil unions rather than marriage is specifically designed to make a statement that same-sex unions are inferior.
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Secondly, I have serious doubts about the ability of a secondary, lesser-status institution to consistently provide equal access, services, or application of law. Separate but equal has seldom proven in history to be nearly as equal as it was separate.
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Third, I believe that same-sex couples are entitled to the social and societal connotations that come with the word, customs, and traditions of marriage and that this are in the best interest of society. I believe that calling our unions something else can reduce important social expectations both on the part of those in the couple and the demands that the community place on married couples.
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But perhaps the most obvious reasons for eliminating the hodge-podge patchwork of nomenclatures created to make sure that same-sex couples aren’t really married, is that they are confusing. No one knows what they mean.
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The Republic of Ireland has no idea what rights or privileges are granted by what scheme. This year Ireland, as part of it’s new civil partnerships law, decided to recognize marriages – and similar institutions – from other nations as civil partnerships within its borders. And so, with Statutory Instrument 649, Dermot Ahern, Minister for Justice and Law Reform, announced which other nations and states would have their forms recognized:
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Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Mexico City, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom. Also, from the United States, Ireland will recognize California (marriages only), Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Vermont, and Washington D.C.
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What is missing? Domestic Partnerships in California, Washington, Oregon and Nevada which offer every right, privilege, obligation and duty of marriage, but with another name.
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On a last note, take a look at the list of nations that allow marriage or its equivalent. The USA as a whole is shockingly absent and this absence underscores that the United States is increasingly less of the beacon of freedom that it pretends to be. Sadly, that mantle has been taken up by other nations - even some once viewed as inferior to America. How has this happened? It's summarized by one word: religion. Religion in the form of special rights given to gay hating Christians to write religious based discrimination into the nation's laws.