Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Continuing Process of "Coming Out"

I have said before that coming out is not a one time event or something that even takes a few months - especially when one lives in a region like southeastern Virginia. Sometimes perhaps, I/we even put far more pressure on ourselves than others do and we sometimes need to take a deep breath and relax. Sometimes it's necessary to allow others more credit for acceptance than one might expect. Tonight was likely one such occasion.
*
Typically, I am pretty comfortable in a crowded room and can hold my own in conversations (much to the amazement of those who knew me as shy and quiet in high school). Nevertheless, I felt like I was coming out all over again tonight (three gin and tonics definitely helped). We were at a beautiful social event thrown at the home of one of the boyfriend's clients from a prominent local family here on the Virginia Peninsula. As seems to happen with regularity, the boyfriend and I were the only gay couple at the heavily attended event. The boyfriend had the advantage in that he had done the hair of a significant percentage of the women in the crowd - as well as some of the husbands - at some point in time or another. In contrast, yours truly knew very few people since until moving in with the boyfriend most of my social interaction was always on the southside of Hampton Roads which socially is a different universe.
*
Everyone was very gracious and with out exception, the boyfriend introduced me as his partner. Indeed, no one seemed to bat an eye even though we were the only same sex couple - and wearing matching wedding bands. The lesson? Be yourself and give others an opportunity to accept you. If they don't, it's their loss. If they do, then chalk it up as another foray into the process of demonstrating that we in the LGBT community are really not so different than anyone else.

No comments: