Saturday, January 16, 2010

D.C.'s Same-Sex Marriage Proposal has Couples Contemplating Moving

Assuming Congress does not torpedo Washington, D.C.'s new same sex marriage law, marriage equality could be a boon to the District as hard working, often professional gay couples in Northern Virginia decide to make a short move into the District from anti-gay Virginia. Back when I came out, I tried to make a move to D.C., but the difficulties of moving after many years of private law practice made it unworkable. Now, with the boyfriend's successful business in Hampton, a move would be more difficult. But we do still talk about "someday" moving to a more gay friendly state or country. And many Norfolk area gays DO leave the area for more accepting cities and states (on the home tour last night, we ran into a guy from Norfolk who moved here to Key West). When Canada first allowed gay marriage, the influx of educated and successful gays from the USA was called the "gay drain." Now Washington, D.C. may benefit from Virginia's intolerance. Anti-gay legislators will not care - our leaving the state might even please them, but the state's big business ought to care because Virginia is becoming increasingly non-competitive in the recruiting world because of legalized discrimination. Here are highlights from the Washington Post on this potential movement of talent from Virginia:
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Before they had children, Zizos and her partner of 16 years, Karen Bell, chose to settle in Alexandria even though they knew their rights as a gay couple would be limited. They didn't want to create a life anywhere else. Now, just weeks before same-sex marriage becomes legal in the District -- barring congressional intercession -- Zizos, Bell and other gay couples who have settled in the District's Virginia and Maryland suburbs are asking: Is it worth moving?
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The question -- make your marriage legal, or stay in the place where you've made a home -- has forced many gay couples to weigh the battle for equal rights against quality-of-life issues, pitting a yard in Fairfax County against the chance to lock in inheritance and hospital visitation rights and the other benefits of marriage.
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"My partner just turned to me a month ago and said, 'You know, if they pass this in D.C., would you want to get married?' " said Rich Hooks Wayman, who is adopting 4-year-old twins with his partner, Aaron Hooks Wayman. "A lot of us in this community are talking about what this really looks like and whether it's important or not."
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Gay activists and experts on same-sex couples say that if the District's endorsement of gay marriage survives -- the council and mayor approved a measure last month, and Congress has 30 days to review the bill -- they do not expect a mass migration of suburban couples. What is more likely, they said, is that the tourism industry will see a spike as couples come from across the country to marry and then return to their home states. For couples in Virginia and Maryland with children, analysts said, the opportunity for legal marriage will probably be outweighed by misgivings about the District's troubled public schools.
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In fact, the boyfriend and I might be among those who travel to D.C.to get married and spend money there rather than have a ceremony that has no legal effect at all in Virginia.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Thoe of us living in Key West are always happy to hear that folks are visiting here or moving here because of our "One Human Family" philosophy. You can truly be yourself here. We soemtimes forget that we live in a state which not only does not allow legal gay marraige, but also bars gay people from adopting.

It's important to get involved and stay involved. Never settle for less than equality!

Enjoy your visit!

Susan Kent